Party ke side effects

First of all, Happy New year all you lovely people!!

I have something really important to share. Being an Indian and a girl, I really have to talk about this and share my experience.

Being outside India, I have been leading an absolutely harassment free life here. I do not worry about what I am wearing, what time of the day it is, where I go and how late I step out of the house. I am usually with my husband or other friends, so I feel very safe when I am outside. Partying till very late is the normal lifestyle of every 20 somethings and above here in Singapore. Nobody makes a big deal out of this. Even families with young kids stay out as late as 12AM.

An incident happened this new years eve when I was out with my husband and a few of my very good friends in a beach party. One of the parties that night was a foam and shower dance floor with great DJ. Naturally that was the most popular and crowded of all parties that night. We entered the party after midnight and the foam had stopped for some time. The crowd was waiting for the foam rain to start again. And so it started, as promised, with fantastic music. The crowd went wild.

As if out of nowhere a hand appeared to pinch my belly. I looked around but couldn't spot anything funny, so I dismissed it and went back to dancing. And then I felt it again. This time I was fast enough to catch the hand that was pinching me. I started pinching the hand as hard as I could all the while holding tight onto the re-treating hand. In no time, I spotted the face associated with the hand. Without thinking anything else, as a response, I started slapping the face just about everywhere that I could reach. I must have easily hit the face about 6-7 times.

At that moment I didn't think all these but thinking about it now, hitting him across his face felt good, real good. I was not afraid. I was not worried that he might challenge me. I was glad that I hit him right across his eyes and nose and on his head. Right then, I was high without any drink.

The person (he was of Indian origin, I can tell that much), disappeared into the crowd soon after that. I was back to enjoying the party with my husband and friends who were close enough to see all this. Everything happened so quickly that they couldn't react. Once we were out of dance floor I spotted the face again and I tugged at my husband's hand "It's him". I didn't expect that my husband would make a mad dash towards that guy who had starting running away after recognizing me. My husband confronted him and I vaguely remember my hubby holding his collar. I felt extra brave with my dear husband backing me up and I pushed the guy a couple of times as if to challenge him (dhakka marna). But when the guy didn't make sense and appeared scared I asked hubby to let go of him and pulled him out of the scene. I should have let him continue so that the matter would escalate to security personnel.

This sounds too cliched but there is some charm in your man fighting for you :) I had a new-found respect towards my hubby dear that night. My husband was worried slightly that the incident would spoil my mood, he wasn't sure how I would react. When I was very casual and told him that I actually enjoyed all these (who wouldn't enjoy hitting the wrong-doer!) he was relieved.


The rest of the night passed without any untoward incidents. For such a huge party, stray incidents like these are expected, unfortunately! Will this stop me from going to the night party next time? No way! Next year we will make sure to get such guys expelled.

Singapore Haze

Smoke from forest fire in Indonesia has shrouded Singapore with Pollutant Standard Index(PSI) hitting all time high at 401. Anything above PSI 100 is unhealthy and 300 is just hazardous.

PSI Value Air Quality Descriptor 0 - 50 Good 51 - 100 Moderate 101 - 200 Unhealthy 201 - 300 Very unhealthy Above 300 Hazardous - See more at: http://app2.nea.gov.sg/anti-pollution-radiation-protection/air-pollution/psi/psi-and-pm2-5-readings#sthash.qK6Uq0bp.dpuf

View of Singapore eye at PSI 401- Yahoo photos.

It is an yearly event for Indonesian farmers to burn their plantation just before mansoon. But this time the fire is intense because of extreme dry weather. Even Indonesian oil companies have participated in annual burning of farms by burning their palm oil plantation. This has escalated the situation in Singapore and southern Malaysia with PSI hitting hazardous levels.

Yahoo photo

In an otherwise safe Singapore we have major drama ensuing because of haze.

 - Politicians are blaming and pressurising Indonesia (rightfully) for the haze situation.

 - Indonesia in response has chided Singapore for behaving like a child. It has responded positively too, by deploying fire fighting planes as haze worsens in Singapore and Malaysia. Indonesia has also released names of 8 companies which may be involved in starting forest fires.

NASA Photo

 - Malaysia shut down schools when the PSI hit 300. This has caused anxiety and frustration among Singapore residents. Singapore PM Lee has maintained that there will be no closing down of businesses in Singapore and that life must go on. Assessing the situation there might be reduced work hours and outdoor exposure but that is as far as what we can expect.

 - Amidst all these there is panic among residents for getting respiratory masks.

People queuing up at hospitals for N95 masks. Yahoo photo

A colleague of mine had purchased masks at 20$(original price 10$) on 20th June. When some of us from office went to purchase masks from the same shop on 21st afternoon the guy had run out of masks but was ready to take advance orders at 75$ per pack!! He claimed that he has to hand carry masks from Australia!! Simple theory of Demand and Supply!!

We haven't opened doors and windows in house for the past 4 days. Its very stuffy to stay indoors. Haze visibility has improved today but the smell and pollution still persists. PSI was high even today morning at 322. This is expected to continue for another month or so but may be not at high PSI. Thank god for air conditioner at homes that life is going easy despite haze.

Life stands still

The joy of camping has to be experienced. 

Getting back to the basics

the heat, the sweat, the cool breeze of midnight;

huddling inside the tent when its pouring outside

walking on the beach in the death of night; 

sleeping to the sounds of darkness

insects screeching, leaves rustling, wind howling;

therapeutic sounds of water lashing at the shore;

waking up to the raising sun on water;

sand, castles and bubbles;
chirping birds, flying kites, giggling kids;

this is where life comes to stand still ... 
or so you wish ..

The ecstasy of camping has to be experienced. 

Conversation with a free thinker

I was having lunch with a colleague the other day. I was getting to know her better. She mostly dominates every conversation and steers towards the topics she likes and makes it interesting for everyone. She was getting to know me as well. We started with the usual banter - work, followed by kids and then conversation was steered towards our costums, values and beliefs.

She asked me about my religion. Any topic about Indian religion always starts with the many gods we have and the main gods - Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. And it invariably moves to discussing cast-ism in our society and various traditions that dominate a particular caste.

I asked her about her religion. This is how I asked her. "So what are you? A Buddhist or Christian?" Those are the two religions that a Singaporean Chinese belong to. She answered 'none'. I asked her again. She has to be something, to me the thought of not belonging to a religion just didn't exist. She said again "none, I don't have a religion." It took me a while to understand what she was saying. She was saying that she doesn't believe or belong to any religion. She was a free thinker.

To an Indian, she had said something unthinkable. We Indians belong to one or the other religion. We are born to a religion, we do not chose our religion. Even if an Indian doesn't believe in his religion's traditions and practices, he still belongs to that religion because he is born to parents who follow the religion. Religion forms the foundation of India, its culture and its society. Religion defines who we are, what we can achieve, what is expected from us. It has influence on politics, architecture, cuisine, dressing and thinking. There are religion and caste based reservation policies. Religion is so important in our society that you cannot understand India or Indians without first learning about their religion and its influence.

How can my colleague not belong to any religion? She must automatically belong to a religion her husband follows. She said her husband's family are Buddhists but her husband himself is a free thinker. So don't they believe in God? She says no, she says that there are things that are beyond her control in this universe, but that is science, not God. How are values inculcated in them? As kids, we were told stories of God, that he is the supreme being. The fear of god, the notion of hell and heaven teaches us what is right and wrong. She says, while growing up, they were told that they are supposed to follow certain things because their parents said so. Their parents are experienced and they know better; they were the guardians, so the kids listened to their parents. They learnt values for the greater good of society and not for the fear of God or religious practices. She clarified that she or her family is not against any religion or its practices, its just they do not follow any one religion. They are free to learn from all religions and pick and practice what they like from each religion.

Whats the role of the society in their lives? Racial harmony is one of the fundamental value of Singaporean government. All the religions co-exist in this country peacefully. Each religious group observes their traditions and government supports and encourages it. Schools and offices celebrate all the major festivals of religions here without bias. In-fact, being a free thinker is a religion in itself in this country. All official documents accept free-thinkers as a religion. There is no religious bias.

My colleague is a very warm person. She is an extremely friendly girl who is liked by almost everyone. She makes anyone welcome in the group. She can make witty conversations. She is a super-mom. She is very well balanced emotionally and is seen to be calm even in stressful times. She is a go-getter. Free-thinking or not being bound to a religion obviously hasn't done her any harm!

That conversation with her left me debating within myself. Free thinking is accepting the values of others and extending friendship by respecting their religion. And since the society doesn't need you to belong to a religion you call yourself a free thinker. This is same as being in a religion, because your society wants you to and respecting & adopting values from other religions. There are many Hindus who bring home a Christmas tree or cut a cake on New Year. Isn't this free thinking? Or is this just religious harmony?

What's up in India ..

There is already a lot said about the recent Delhi gang-rape case. The brutality left me too horrified to say anything. The people of India are venting out their pain, their agony, their frustration and helplessness. For a change, this time, a majority of Indians didn't put the blame on what the men ate or what the girl wore (or they saved it for another day, because for now, majority of India is boiling with rage).

When the girl landed in Singapore for treatment, Singaporeans learnt about the case and were very curious to know what the issue was all about and why there are protests of this magnitude in India. I work in singapore and at my office lunch table were 5 girls of different nationalities of south east Asia and they wanted to know what was it all about.

I am the kind who always speaks good about India with my other nationality friends. I am proud of my country and always portray good side of it. But this episode had to be answered frankly, I had nowhere to hide, there was no way of escaping or getting defensive about my country.

They asked me why there is so much protest because criminals were already caught and arrested? I only told them that the public wants chemical castration and/or capital punishment for the victims. (I was still hoping that they forget the topic and move on to something else.) They wanted to know if rape and molestation are very common in India and is India not really safe for women? According to them taking a public bus has to be the safest way of traveling within city.

One of them had learnt about molestations in public transport. She wanted to know more about it. Her mouth fell open when I told that it happens even in daytime, even in fully crowded bus/train and the general public doesn't do anything to thrash the offender. She wanted to know why girls like me(who come from respectable and educated families) doesn’t do anything to confront the offender. I had to explain the mentality of society to such crimes, the shame that is associated with it and the fear of blame that falls on victim and not on offender. This was such a shameful moment to me, to lay India, my motherland, bare in front of others :-( One of them quipped "Why don’t the girls go to the police to complain?” She got the biggest shock of her life when I replied that any girl from respectable family doesn't go to police station in India. I remembered the time when I was called to police station for my passport address verification. I was accompanied by my dad and a bunch of my male friends. I didn’t tell this to her.

The girls wanted to know how it is in MNCs? Our office has subdivisions in Bangalore, we work with teams in Bangalore. "Are all Indian men the same? They all think ill about girls?" We have a few Indian men working in our Singapore office. I had to explain that not all men are same. I explained to them that well educated men(which MNC men are supposed to be) doesn’t think this way. I had to explain about gender difference, cultural upbringing and role of education to convince them that not all Indian men are evil. I didn’t want them to have an impression that all Indian men are vultures who are waiting to pounce on women. The protests in India and its coverage in Singapore media is not helping the image of Indian men, in general.

What if women have to work late in office? Its common in many professions to work late in office. I told them that most offices have cabs with security personnel appointed for drop off. By this time they were already skeptical. What if the security person's mind is corrupted?

Girls in Singapore can roam out alone even in the death of night. They can wear clothes that they want without any hesitation. They can go out on dates and return home at any time. They don’t need their brothers, friends, boyfriends or husbands to escort them wherever they go. For any petty issue they can walk into police station at any time and rest assured that their case gets attention. These lucky girls just don’t understand the situation in India. One of the girls innocently asked me "With all these, how do you manage to go out to celebrate something like a New Year countdown in the night?" This was my turn to laugh out loud (and silently shudder inside thinking about Guwahati case). "What celebrations at night outside, I haven’t stayed outdoor for any such celebration, it has to be indoor". She exclaimed "You girls don’t have a life!!".

There were so many questions from them - Is India safe for traveling girls? How can the government let all these happen? One of them was actually planning a trip to India, I don’t think she will be doing that anytime soon! However there is one thing that they all agreed “You don’t go back to India, stay in Singapore. You have a girl child”!! :-(