Tuesday 11 December 2012

Just one failure ..

Few things happening over past few days that makes me really think, really doubt myself as a mom ... makes me wonder if I am doing a good job .. those days when I read too much into what I am doing .. those days when I am all consumed by guilt ...

What is right? what is wrong? who decides that?
May be I should relax a bit, after-all, who do I care more for?
Why do I judge myself? Why am I harsh on myself?
Why do I try to be perfect? Its OK to fail ... once in a while!

All my stress shows on kiddo too ...
The more stressed I am, the more upset she gets..
My irritation becomes her anxiety ...
My self doubts becomes hindrance to her self esteem ...

Its as if she is still attached to my umbilical cord ..

I hold my breathe, she gets suffocated ...
I go hungry, she cries ...
I am sleepy, she gets cranky ..
I am tired, she feels the pain ...
I am unhappy, she is gloomy ...

I am  happy, she is a bundle of joy ...
That all I want for her ...

Its just one of those days ..
just ...
one ..
failure ..

I promise you baby ... I will give you little more than my best!

3 comments:

  1. " makes me wonder if I am doing a good job " I am in the same boat !!

    seena

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    Replies
    1. Seena, we have our moments of doubt isn't it?

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